in the shadow of God

conferenceThere were over 4500 people in the room. Plus me. I didn’t know anyone there except Jesus. That was my plan – drive two hours to be alone with Him in a crowd. Kari Jobe led worship and Christine Caine brought the word and all of that was very enticing, but really, I was there to meet with Jesus. It’s true, I could have met with Him anywhere, without even leaving my house. But sometimes, there’s just something about the going to Him that matters to me. It was the shaking off the heaviness, getting up and going that I needed. Continue reading “in the shadow of God”

what we can do

I’ve waited to respond to the recent decision of the Supreme Court concerning gay marriage. First, I wanted to see what others in the Body of Christ are saying, while at the same time seek the voice of God on the issue. I know, I know. It should be obvious what God has said. He is very clear about both homosexuality and marriage. But I needed to hear His voice on more than that. I wanted Him to speak into how He wants us, the Church to respond. How He wants me to respond.  I knew we couldn’t change what had been done, but I also knew there must be something we can do. Something I can do. Continue reading “what we can do”

offensive mercy

I remember this song that went on repeat in my heart. Those words that became a yearning to get out of the boat and walk on water. To go deeper. Further, much further than I could ever go on my own. Oh how I would sing it out…

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I didn’t know. I was blissfully unaware of what deeper and further really look like —  what walking on water would demand from me. Continue reading “offensive mercy”

i should not have read that

kicking dirt2Serves me right, I suppose. I read something on social media and I let it get to me. I started out angry. I mean going outside and kicking the dirt kind of angry. And then it turned to grief. I mean bent over weeping grief.

Grieving for the lost who come under fire for acting lost. But mostly, I grieve when the Bride seems to point her finger and take delight in the wrath of God that will come to those who do not believe. Continue reading “i should not have read that”

learning from addiction

Two years ago this May, I began serving in a recovery home called Grace House. It has been hard, fun, exciting and exasperating all at the same time. But mostly, it has been one of the greatest learning experiences I have ever had. And I, as always, am compelled to share with you what I’ve learned. 

Everyone has a story. In the two years I have spent ministering to women in addiction, I’ve heard unimaginable stories. And I’ve learned from them things I don’t know I would have learned any other way. Continue reading “learning from addiction”

unicorn dreams

At the end of last year (day before yesterday doesn’t sound as good) I looked back and saw all that God had done in my life in 2014. It was good for me and helped alleviate some of the guilt of a life less lived. Today, I feel the need to do a little verbal processing, because I’m still restless. That means there’s something God wants to talk about. Don’t ask. It’s just how we roll.

Everywhere I go I hear or read about dreaming with God and it makes something inside of me twitch and question marks explode in my head. Does God dream? Does He wish for things He’s not sure He’ll ever get? No. That can’t be it. So then I must be the one with the dream. Does dreaming with God just mean that I tell Him all my hopes and wishes, followed by an awkward silence because He’s far too kind to laugh and say “good luck with that”? Continue reading “unicorn dreams”

2014 ~ a good year for God and house plants

2015It’s the last day of the year and I’m not sure how that happened. I’m not ready. I don’t have my lists made yet, my house is still dirty from Easter and I have a lot of weight to lose before tomorrow. Happens every year.

December 31st is always a hard day for me. Inevitably I look back over my year and think “what the heck did I do all year? What did I accomplish?”. This year it would look something like this… Continue reading “2014 ~ a good year for God and house plants”